Saturday, November 8, 2008

Yes or No?

Lately, I think Tim and I are really getting overwhelmed with all the things we have to plan and pay for. We're aware of the fact that we're saving so much money on a lot of things because of how helpful people are and how good we are at finding good deals...but at the same time...we don't even have the money for those things. Even those "cheap routes" are putting us beyond the amount we have to spend.

Tim was recalling the talks we've heard from so many LDS leaders that say we should avoid getting into debt by spending money we don't have for things we don't need. So, what do we really need for this wedding? As Tim was going over all the things that he was worried about paying for, I have to admit it really got to me. When it really came down to it, I knew that the most important part of this whole charade was the only thing I was sure about. We are going to get sealed to each other in the House of the Lord...because we love each other and we know that this is right. We are 100% sure that this is the right time. So, what other price should we put on that? A dress? Decorations? Invitations? Doesn't it all just seem a little ridiculous when you think of the true purpose of what we're planning for? I think so.

So the conclusion I came to was that I simply have no idea what I'm doing. I am pretty sure Tim feels the same way after we were talking last night. We know that one the one hand, Heavenly Father would not want us to make this just like any other day. And we know He understands our situation not only monetarily, but also the fact that everything my family will see will be on the outside of the temple. Based on that fact alone, I know we need to do something other than the sealing. But really...how much should I care about it? I'm just so lost. I think I'm officially starting to have my first panic attacks about wedding plans.

Does anyone have any tips?

2 comments:

Sean and Charity said...

I completely understand Panahee! In the end we just decided (with some monetary help from Sean's family) that we were going to focus on the fact that the most important thing about it all is that you are getting married at the right time in the right place to the right person. And after that do what you can to make it your special day. But don't stress yourself out about every last detail. really just ask around and things will work out!! If you get stuck just ask me and I will help you out! Love you!!

Oh and the place I got the paper is Xpedx

Liz said...

Janae, you have to know you have the best catch out there. Tim was my home teacher freshman year, and amazing in so many ways (but you already know that!)
A couple things that worked for me or I wish I knew for saving money for our wedding:
-make your own invitations (we got our stuff at xpedx too) it takes time, and all of your date nights for weeks are invitation-assembly, but you're working together on something, which is great
-rent a dress or buy one used (craigslist/ksl/ask around) I ended up selling mine. I wore my mom's temple dress for the sealing she wore for hers 20+ years ago, and that's what was ultimately more important to me
-for as much as possible, do it yourself (which means get your family and friends to help): don't rent a reception hall, do it at home or a stake center. cook your own food. design your own decorations. You'd be surprised how talented you are!
-prioritize: are photos more important than flowers? what about getting hair/makeup/nails done? get a professional for one or the other. Or if you have a friend or family member who has an eye for either, save some pennies! There are lots of ways to look professional and chic without the expense
-check out burlington coat factory in Orem for tux pieces. we got Adam a vest and tux shirt for $20, which he still has for future formal events, and his parents bought a new dress suit rather than a tux suit that he can wear on a regular basis. a bit of a compromise, but a lot cheaper!
-rather than bridesmaid/groomsmen outfits, ask family and friends to dress in a color scheme or theme. Ours (Dec. wedding) were maroon and deep purple with black and ivory. one of my friends (married in Hawaii) did all Hawaiian shirts/dresses. How fun! think creative, yet inexpensive.

Good luck! Let me know if I can help!
Liz Slade

PS. Don't forget to just have fun and relax. This is one of the best parts of marriage--anticipating it! I would love to get to plan a wedding again :) Take time for each other to remember the real reason for everything!